I know there's no way I can convince you this is not one of their
tricks, but I don't care, I am me. My name is Valerie, I don't think
I'll live much longer and I wanted to tell someone about my life. This
is the only autobiography I'll ever write, and god, I'm writing it on
toilet paper. I was born in Nottingham in 1985, I don't remember much of
those early years, but I do remember the rain. My grandmother owned a
farm in Tuttlebrook, and she use to tell me that god was in the rain. I
passed my 11th lesson into girl's grammar; it was at school that I met
my first girlfriend, her name was Sara. It was her wrists. They were
beautiful. I thought we would love each other forever. I remember our
teacher telling us that is was an adolescent phase people outgrew. Sara
did, I didn't. In 2002, I fell in love with a girl named Christina. That
year I came out to my parents. I couldn't have done it without Chris
holding my hand. My father wouldn't look at me, he told me to go and
never come back. My mother said nothing. But I had only told them the
truth, was that so selfish? Our integrity sells for so little, but it is
all we really have. It is the very last inch of us, but within that
inch, we are free. I'd always known what I wanted to do with my life,
and in 2015 I starred in my first film, "The Salt Flats". It was the
most important role of my life, not because of my career, but because
that was how I met Ruth. The first time we kissed, I knew I never wanted
to kiss any other lips but hers again. We moved to a small flat in
London together. She grew Scarlet Carsons for me in our window box, and
our place always smelled of roses. Those were there best years of my
life. But America's war grew worse, and worse. And eventually came to
London. After that there were no roses anymore. Not for anyone. I
remember how the meaning of words began to change. How unfamiliar words
like "collateral" and "rendition" became frightening. While things like
Norse Fire and The Articles of Allegiance became powerful, I remember
how different became dangerous. I still don't understand it, why they
hate us so much. They took Ruth while she was out buying food. I've
never cried so hard in my life. It wasn't long till they came for me. It
seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place, but for
three years, I had roses, and apologized to no one. I shall die here.
Every inch of me shall perish. Every inch, but one. An Inch, it is small
and it is fragile, but it is the only thing the world worth having. We
must never lose it or give it away. We must never let them take it from
us. I hope that whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the
world turns and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is
that you understand what I mean when I tell you that even though I do
not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry
with you, or kiss you. I love you. With all my heart, I love you.
-Valerie
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