Q/A - Kawesh

Earlier last year, 2011, someone responded through KISSinsight app on my blog and wanted me to write about a few issues of her. She wrote that I should write:

"About strenght, and how to keep your strenght. Because i sometimes meet people who seem to be the happiest people alive. Perhaps its because i don't know them well. But happy-advices would be great. And also tips for someone who's moving out............ But mostly i'd like you to type about someone wanting to leave his/her family badly. Because i want that. I do feel that i can't express myself in the way i want to at home, that im somehow limited. And i feel that i've reached the age(19) in which i've realized that i can't take it anymore. Since it's a huge difference - the way im treated outside the box(home) than in it. I would really appreciate it if you'd type about that issue. Because somehow i do feel like the only person going through this issue. L.O.V.E/ And i hope you type about this issue. Have a great day /*****"


I'm sorry, for responding so late, but through the months a lot has happened and I have been through some of the issues she named and I tried to handle them as good as I could.

Let's take it step by step.

Q. How to keep your strength.
A. Strength for me is not power, like muscles. Strength is something in my mind, strength is psychical, it's something that you control and something you build up. Nothing comes free, just like that, you got to build it up. Normally it gets built through your course of life, but sometimes you have to do some things, like standing up against others when you have to, taking the first step, taking the courage to talk to someone you have never met. Things like that can make a whole big difference. Built it up by taking chances, because remember, if you never ask, the answer will always be NO. If you don't move, you will always be in the same place. If you never go after what you want or what you believe in, you will be nowhere. 


Also, when you look around and you only see happy people, well that is only up to you how YOU make it. If you want to be happy, then be happy, even if your not happy, pretend to be happy. Sad/bad days comes and goes, but don't get stuck there. I used to have bad days too, till one day my friend told me, that I shouldn't care to much about what other people thinks or says. So I started living my own life and rejected people I didn't like and only kept the ones that meant most to me and REALLY CARED. Because who you are with and how they make you feel is more important than where you are. You could be in the worst place on earth, but still have great friends and only that can make you feel better than ever. 


There is one more thing about happiness, because happiness is a moment, a moment of joy and tears. It could be when you graduate from school or take your driver license. It's these moments that make you full of joy and give you tears of happiness. Enjoy these moments, because they are rare and you will need them and when you look back you will and rewind your memory's, it'll make you happy again. I know it makes me happy when I look back and see what I have achieved during these past years. Remember, your life isn't a story, it's based on moment's and memory's.


Q. Moving out.
A. Before moving out, you should think about your economy. How much do you earn, how much do you need to earn and also think about a friend that you might to move in with. Also how much do you have to pay in rent, for electricity, internet and important stuff like that. You need to have a plan on how you will pay those bills. That's before you decide to move in somewhere. Then find a place, I know it's hard, but it's easier through friends. That's how I got mine and I also moved out with a friend. Once you have found a place, don't say yes immediately. See if you can find somewhere cheaper and better. Don't move to areas that you don't feel comfortable at. Once you are ready for the next step, move out, but don't buy a lot of furniture, do it once you have settled in your new home. The most important thing to do when moved in, is to make a saving account on your bank account. You need to save money, in case unforeseen situations occur. Then you need to take out money and have it in cash somewhere safe in your home. That money must be enough to feed you a whole month. Do this every month you get paid. This way you'll have control of how much you spend on food and household materials. Also make up a schedule for when to wash clothes, clean the house and stuff like that. But the most important thing that you should mostly think about, which I didn't because I was to in my own world, is to who you will affect by moving out AND also think about DO YOU REALLY NEED TO MOVE? Then ask yourself why.


I know in your case it might be a family problem or something like that, from what you wrote, so the best thing you can do is think. When thinking for yourself, don't get to emotional, the thinking is supposed to make you to come to great and clean and logic conclusions.


Q. Family
A. Once upon a time and also now, me too I can't really express myself when being around my parents. Mostly it's because of the lack of my own language. It's about the communication, I can't communicate with them in my own language because I lack of words and because of that I can't participate in discussions or talk about important things with my parents. But I didn't let that stop me, I can't say the problem has been solved but I have become a little bit better at handling it. I try to see my parents as friends and NOT as parents. Although they are my parents, I try not to see them that way, because it makes my way of communicating with them easier. Also, when having a discussion with them, I try not to get emotional and trying to keep myself calm. It works, I promise. Family problems will be less of a problem when communicating. Remember, don't get emotional and at least try to communicate if so possible.

I can't really further help you with this family business of yours, because I'm not involved in it and I don't know the details and I also would not like to get involved in that. The only recommendation I have for you is communication and also, NO, you are not alone of your issues. There are 7 billion on earth and lots of lots of lots of them too have these kind of problems. You are just going through the hard part right now. I have been there and I have tried to handle it. Some of them I solved, some of them I didn't. But take it step by step, one thing at a time and it will be much easier.

I hope this has helped you and I wish you good luck. If there is anything else, just email me.

/kAwEsH



[Art of Pixels]